According to Cambridge Dictionary, “dating” means: a social meeting planned before it happens, especially one between two people who have or might have a romantic relationship.
But… what does it mean to be in a “romantic relationship” today?
Friends? Boyfriend? Sex-friends?
We don’t understand what kind of relationship we have with each other; it has become very difficult to understand one’s intentions or feelings with all that omnipresent communication going on. Our strategic responses are source of constant misunderstanding: we withhold our responses to show how busy, important, and unattached we are, even when we are not. Even the emoji stuff, designed to easily express complex emotions, it’s getting more and more muddy. The worst is that waving hand. Do you mean “Ciao”? Or “Hello”? Or, “Talk to my hand”? Hard to know.
Have I got privacy, or he knows everything about me?
Screenshotting, liking pictures, texting, calling, sharing music, sharing location… We have a phone linked to our body, and it’s overwhelming. After a few days and 50GB spent, I don’t care what he does in his free time!
Can we have a little bit of privacy back? Personally, I don’t want to know all about his private life before I get to know the sound of his laugh. There’s already too much information on my brain about his friends, family, house, job, pets…his fake abs.
We are absolutely obsessed with immediacy.
When he doesn’t text you back immediately, we say to ourselves: “It’s alright”, “I’m fine”, “I’m okay”, but at the bottom we’re just smiling through the pain. Why are we so anxious?
The problem here is immediacy. We’ve got used to respond and wait in ranges of one minute maximum. We can totally forget to respond to someone, or the opposite, respond twice. We even do so in the wrong conversation. We’re texting dirty things to our boss when they’re addressed to our crush!
Should we go back to the past?
Are we really glad to receive digital roses or faces winking at us? Is this our idea of romance? Should we go back to writing passionate love letters?
We tend to assume that all this endless embarrassment in dating is part of the 2.0 Era, but it’s not. Tell Jane Austen about baffling glances, stuttering proposals or corny letters. There’s no point in going back and sheltering in nostalgia; love has always been a thorny business. Nowadays we simply have more tools to ludicrously pursue our romantic endeavors.
Dating is hard, and awkward, and it destroys your nerves. But you can do this. It’s weird, but you just have to get used to it. Drink a glass of wine, whatever helps you. Heartbreak and disappointment are part of life and therefore a part of dating.
Written by Paula Capel - content creator at laagam
Picture: Mari Andrew